Warning: these ‘tips’ might actually get you chucked out of a bar, particularly if done in conjunction with each other:

1. Whilst smiling enthusiastically, throw coins at the bar staff. Follow up with a disarming wave.
2. Vomit.
3. Rather than repeating the tried and tested ‘wave-a-note-in-the-face technique’, why not fold the note into a paper aeroplane and let it glide its way gracefully in the bar tender’s face.
4. Start licking the bar and smacking the back of your head.
5. Moo very, very loudly.
6. Take your shirt off and spin it around above your head.
7. Re-enact the haka (preferably with at least two accomplices).
8. Kill a pigeon and start eating it.
9. Shit yourself messily.
10. Start kissing the person on your left.

You’ll never get served (slowly) again.

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