It’s a moment that you’ve long dreamt of, and finally fate has conspired so that you’re standing face to face with the person responsible for your favourite ever album, the artist behind the songs you keep on coming back to, no matter how old they get.

This was always going to be weird moment. In much the same way as a book is interpreted differently by each person, so a song or album means something unique to each individual who listens to it.

In some ways, you almost feel like you know the artist, even though to them you are a single weirdo in amongst a room full of fans.

So those first words are always going to be awkward. Trying to be conventional will just make you sound cheesy and clichéd.

Examples include:

• ‘I really love your music.’
• ‘I really respect what you do.’
  
• ‘You’re well good.’
  
• ‘Please sign my tits.’

Trying to be cool, clever or clingy is just going to make you sound like a wannabe, try-hard bell-end:

• ‘I really admire the way you rhyme the word ‘sparse’ with ‘arse’. It’s deep, dude.’
• ‘Yeah dat was wicked geez. Check out my myspace yeah. I got sum choonz on der dat I reckon you wud like init.’
  
• ‘Hey, do you remember me? I saw your set at Glastonbury and you waved at me.’

Best thing to do: admire from a distance. If you can’t contain yourself, get a photo of you and the object of your fanaticism and toddle off.

bookmark with